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  MOST UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE (2008-2013) 09/26/2017 7:44pm (UTC)
   
 

 

HALITOSIS-(BAD BREATH)

         I will never forget this experience, when I was having Halitosis; I have had it for 4 years. It let my life so hard. 2008 when my classmate told me and she noticed it to me, that I have bad smell, coming out of my mouth, because I see a lot of people covering their nose when I’m near, I brush three times a day, floss once a day and use mouth wash once or twice a day. My breath smells no matter what! I hate it and avoid talking to people because of it. At first I could kind of smell it myself but not anymore. Many of my friends telling that I am stink and ugly, this is the most painful happened in my life, and I'll never forget in my life until I'm getting old, smelly and ugly someone else said to me! I overhear people saying “someone need to brush your teeth” and other rude comments. I need to stay away from the others that don’t feel good. I’m paranoid about having Halitosis. I am suffering severe bad smell in my breath due to some problem in intestine_’stomach couf not ulcer. I have already consulted to dental specialist but they say there is no problem on my teeth, every 6 months I go to the Dentist to cleaning my teeth. I am shy talk to people; I brush my teeth three to four times and floss, I have bought every possible mouthwash in the stores. I knew that I still had Halitosis because sometimes my friends would rub their noses when I talked to them, and say someone needs to brush their teeth lol! But they never commented on it again, but now all my friends will slowly disappear. I and my Mother went there to the doctor not for myself, my mother consult to the doctor because she has Almoranas, she need a medication! I told him (doctor) that if he knows the medicine if having a Halitosis the doctor give’s me a medical prescription; I forgot what medicine it but after to take this medicine, still no improvement. My cousin would come up to me and just tell me “you stink”! I have always had halitosis. I brush, floss, try mouthwash, tongue scraping, nothing helps. I drink at least 8 glasses of water every day. But yep, I'm still suffering from halitosis. It really didn't matter how often I brushed my teeth, or how often I flossed and used a tongue scraper, the end result remained the same. The overall damage has already been done to my self esteem. My confidence has been destroyed. I don't even feel comfortable speaking without covering my mouth. Also, when I sit next to people on the jeep, I cover my mouth out of fear that I will offend them. I'm a very friendly person and I've dreamed about being able to smile and just be normal, but I can't. Instead of embarrassing myself, I want to cry always. Before I started covering my mouth, I noticed that people would move away and cover there's. After a while, I just became accustomed to not speaking and/or covering my mouth from a distance, in the hopes that I didn't offend the person.

2009 Everyone nearby teased me a lot that I’m bad smell or Halitosis no one can talk to me face to face...! I have a bad odor that comes from my nose, and a strong smell from my mouth that smells like waste. Before I know it, I don't know what caused it. The only thing I can think of is with my teeth…maybe because I eating “isaw or street food”! So I try to avoid these types of foods. I am not aware of a bad smell myself but I have been told by others that I radiate this bad smell off me and it smells awful like a poo smell and gas smell. I was a social person, going out with friends and talking to people. When I open my mouth and ready to talk, some of my friends or other people started to away from my area. I isolate myself so I would not be embarrassed when people hold their nose when they are in my face or around me. I was so afraid I didn't know what to do. I feel very unlovable due to my condition. This is very bad happen in my life and I will never ever forget this experience, all my friends hate me, he/she says that I’m stinky like a fish odor and ugly because of my face has a lot of pimples, I want to die’ I feel that everyone will try me to push out. I see people don’t want to get near me at all but I’m also afraid to ask people if I smell bad are like what smell? If I eat I'll smell something. When I go to my cousin’s house knowing that people don't want to close to me, they rub their nose. I have a very halitosis coming from my mouth when my classmate told me first last year. I go to the dentist every 6 months’ my teeth's fine said by doctor’. Also my tongue is covered with white bacteria’s and when my dentist noticed, she just said to brush my tongue, but the white stuff will come right back during the day. I am not sure when or how it started.  I feel pity to myself. I have many friends sometimes they smell they tend to tell smell like gas smell or poo smell as a dead animal in the air, Anyway, I've lost most of my friends now,  I want to cry so loud. It’s so hard for me’ but I don’t lost hope.

2010 When I finished to study, I wait my Diploma and TOR because this is the one important of applicant and I knew that if this one is none, it’s not accepted in Company. Started of June I’m looking for a job and I attend in any Job Fair here in Laguna! because I want to have a work, it’s not related to my course I want to take a Board Exam but I have no money to take the exam so I find a job,  in a month of July I apply apply in any Company and Mall at this time; I go to ENCHANTED KINGDOM I pass resume and the HR text me for interview, I get in to ENCHANTED KINGDOM the interview is grouping so I pass; I know that the wage are high; but the true is no but it’s okay?? a month is 5000 not everyday in park is open…. When I already work to Enchanted Kingdom as a cashier (5 months contract/120 days completed) some of my co workers have also told me that; I have a bad smell, as well as my visor, she knows me about this. My companion in outlet said that “What is that bad smell like imbornal it’s you Mylene at sudden she says that’ I’m sorry Mylene”. I want to get angry for her but it’s okay… I understand! My co workers tease me in a guy because they think that I’m compatible to him, I don’t like him^ he has a girlfriend. My co workers said that “why you’re not talking” others say that I’m dumb/speechless! I don't want to get close (I mean talk face to face) with girls/boys. At that point, I don't even need to open my mouth for it to smell bad, I want to cry….! I feel like I lost my job behind this. My co workers know that I’m brush my teeth after eating and I eat candy inside the park but he/she says that no improvement. I’m a good companion to all; I share my foods although they not want to take it. Everybody say as well as my visor that I’m speechless person; I talk to everyone but not face to face, I stay away before I talk to them. I stay for my uncle house because it’s near to Enchanted Kingdom I give 700 a month to my uncle! My Uncle and my Aunt know that I have this problem, we talk to each other but they rub their nose and cover their nose. My uncle have a maid, but this maid talk to my aunt about me, because my smell like a animal dead, it’s bad, I don’t like her because she didn’t know about me, she’s not well bred thou I know, it’s kinda cool person in front of me but she’s backstabbers person. She’s nasty person at first she’s good to me because when I’m there were tê-tê a tê-tê to each other; we talk and we eat at the same time. My aunt say that my intestine is dirty so she think that all of my problem is about my intestine she say to me, I’m not close to my aunt, I’m not mad to her, I understand what she talk. I don’t have any friends this year’ just because I’m stink and ugly, is a logical weather for me so hard and it’s hard to catch it when I’m fall. My friends don’t like me, I’m not mad to everybody I understand, it’s okay!  I didn't realize how rude and inconsiderate people can be. I didn’t wish to come to be like this. I’m afraid and live alone if I’m getting old. I don’t have any friends…my gosh! I want to die… I know that everything has a reason.

2011 After the end of contract January 2, 2011. I’ll start to find a new job, I go there in a Job Fairs, and lot of Agency’ I apply in any position. Any Agency not want to accept me, in this year I experience a lot to be failed in interview and not to entertain; while I'm being interviewed they'll smell my breath and not hire me. This is the reason why; not accept in job. I want to get a job that’s the only way I can help myself and my family in financial. If I have work_ I willing to spend money on this to fix my problems, but until now I’m searching for a job. I have this bad taste in my mouth that won’t go away. I have used mouthwash and floss and nothing works.  I never think again. I apply apply apply to get a job and I will never give up.!! When I talk about this to my father he gets angry proving that he didn't smell anything but I saw sometimes covering his nose when I get close. I think he's just afraid to spend money if I go get seeking specialists. I insisted to find a job to support myself. The smell come out with my mouth is one of the big problems for me. I stay away from people because of my condition. I can smell it when I yawn, cough, clean my nose and sometimes while eating. Due to my mouth so stinky I have no friends, and no social life. I asked God to do a miracle for me and have my Halitosis go away. Because I've been treated they way I smell, like poo. My Neighbor often talks about me on my back and passes it pass to others. People hate me, also my relatives they know it about my condition. My other cousins not want me to join/ bonding and all of them hate me because of my condition also my other Uncle and Aunt they passes pass the topic in other people, just of my condition. I don’t care if they not want me, I snob or ignore these type of people’ I don’t need these type of people so I just want to say to all of them, I’m not mad its you’re decision right??? Thank you for stab/for hating me….! I just started brushing, flossing, and gargling with Listerine constantly. That didn't work.  It brings me down even more. The only one I know is because of my teeth (but it’s not about on my teeth-my teeth is no torn).! And I bought some mouthwash, but still no improvement, because of my condition people talking at my back and other tease me, that’s why people turn away… step back… or cover their nose and mouth when I’m near them. But I will never give up whatever happens. I do it for myself and I don’t care what people may think anything about me. I was a very extroverted aggressive problem solver with most things in my life. The basic feeling is “if I don’t think about it, I don’t have it”. I experience for being failed to get a job because of my condition….I never ever think again…. I hate myself now. I lost my confidence. I want to cry loud……..so loud. Due to this I have no friends and am feeling extremely lonely. What I do is staying at home cleaning the house and watch in front of the TV; here I feel relax no worries’ right now I think I will do this for the rest of my life, Anyhow, it's becoming very tiring. I can't do this any longer. I'm breaking down. I have no friends, no life and no romantic prospects. I chatted with one guy from an internet site and I told him about my condition, but he wasn't in the U.S., he lived in Europe. Anyhow, he told me that everyone has imperfections, and that I should just learn to love myself, but I find it hard to be believe that anyone would want to be in a relationship with a woman who has chronic halitosis. (I don’t like, I hate myself, and I don’t want to suffer this problem forever. I want to die. I want my breath go into fresh breath and not bad breath) this is the reason why I’m still searching for a job to help myself first.  I apply apply to find the job. Everyday I apply when I already smell it, I’m looking for the toilet to brush my teeth and gargling mouthwash but some times it’s back again! this is the most painful happen in my life and out of 150 “RESUME” in this year, aside from this some of the Company wants pleasing personality but my face is rough and lot of dark spot of pimple’s just because of minor pimple’s previously come out when I’m college… I heard on TV and Radio that PLEASING PERSONALITY means “PRETTY” oh noh…… I use make up and foundation’ powder’ but my face is like MAP of the PHILIPPINES skin changing. Sometimes I feel like killing myself; but I just can't. I’m really hurted, people tease me directly. They just talk behind my back, or rub their noses when they come by me and happen to take a whiff. It really hurts. I don’t know what to do. I feel so helpless and useless all the time. I go to the mall once a week, for I am not boring, conceivably! I want to leave the house, when I return I have good news to them. Every night I cry. I always pray to God every time before I sleep asking for a heal. I’ve been in many reach out “situation” and many threats to my life but I have very a strong faith and I will never give up. I apply apply apply to get a job…. If I have a job, I have to do it for myself but now “NOTHING”. I will solve this problem and I'm not going to stop looking for the solution until I find it. (This is the one big reason, why I write a letter in ALAGANG KAPATID TV5 to ask to help me.)

2012 I always think about how much fun I’m going to have while in high school and college. But then I think about meeting new people, and then they turn away from me the moment I open my mouth. I do everything I need to. I've been suffering from this halitosis since 2008. It’s really hurted, past friends tease me directly. Neighbors, Cousins, other Uncle and Aunt’ they just talk behind my back, and rub their noses when I come by them and happen to take a whiff. It really hurts. People say you should live life to the fullest. How can you do that when your halitosis is stopping you from doing the things you want to do? I want to be a business woman someday, I have big dreams for myself and family; but I know that I need to work in a team setting and be able to communicate. I could do it, but I probably would scare everyone off when I open my mouth to speak. I really don't know what to do; sometimes, I think about killing myself too, but I just can't’ although I don't suffer with halitosis. I want to just die sometimes because there is nothing worse than having it. I try to keep my mouth shut if I'm too close to someone. I guess I am just trying to cope with the reality of the situation, because I may never really find out what is causing this problem. I desperately want to date and have friends. I want to socialize. I want to feel good about myself. It just seems so impossible. I feel so unlovable due to the chronic halitosis. I know most people would never want to be around someone like me. I’m going strong_ I’m searching for a job, some of the company wants pleasing personality, I’m hard working person, no one can talk to me lazy, for me it is easy to find a job; But in this problem I lost my confidence but I will never ever think again the past and I know this year is my lucky year because I’m year of A dragon and I never think again the past experiences; other neighbors’ ask if I have a job I say now nothing; some of my neighbors’ think that I’m lazy and they know my condition it passes pass to other.. I don’t care. Other Relatives and Neighbors say that I’m PAL in my family and other people and my relatives say that “Until now you don’t have a job Mylene Manimtim” ….! My other Cousins, Aunt and Uncle don’t like me’ he/she hate me…. Okay! Thanks, for me “DOBLE” because I don’t like you too, I forget you’ so forget me… I’m not force myself to someone who doesn’t like me!!! I’m very hurt about what people may think anything about me. I don’t know what to do…! I want to be normal. I go to the Dentist to cleaning my teeth every 6 months; I don’t know what were going to do. God always beside me and He wants me to do for myself to fulfill my dreams and to help my parents (my family) as well as myself; I know that god has a plan/purpose to me to enjoy and live with a fullest. I will never give up, I don’t lost hope; whatever happens I’ll be strong and I know this 2012 I find the right job….go go go go, fight fight. I apply 1 to 2 times a week not everyday because my mother sometimes needs money; and the little store is not strength-- salary is not enough. I love you my SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.

2013 This is the year to change my life; I believe to myself 100% that I have a job this year. I always positive and I don’t think anything about the past, that because last year my other neighbors always think that until now I have no job and also my other relatives, they’re saying (“you’re a PAL in your family and you’re PBB--Parang Buhay Baboy”) in that words: I’m very hurt other people are saying that I’m PAL or PBB, so thanks and they think I’m a lazy person. Thanks! Is not all about you? You’re putting me down. I may say THANK YOU! I don’t mad to all people who think anything against me…. All of you are WRONG_ I defend myself with the truth. I know that God sees all things...! I know that there's a lot people out there who doesn't understand what I'm going through! My past is a bad one but it is only up to me how I change my future. So I am starting to forget my bad past because my past together wasn't very good but I'm going to try and make a change my future. I'm not going to live with regrets. I'm going to embrace all the wonders and joys of life. I'm not going to worry about what people will think, or what they will do. I am only going to worry about what I need to do for myself. I've always been a very independent person. I know I can 'survive' on my own. Am I lonely or not? That’s the question I ask myself very often. Happy and Sad….just because of heavy problem in my life. I’m finally forgetting the experience of what people think and what I do in whole 2012. 

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For those who don't suffer from this (which is most people) just be happy that you are able to laugh, smile, and talk to people without worrying about your breath.

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