When I was High School…yah….. I have a lot of friends and I’m one of the addicted Chatters in 26 TV chat room in the Philippines (www.chat-on-tv.com) and I’m one of addicted person in internet, I join over 320 SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES and I join 10 clan here at Laguna area, clan means (group of people 15-30 years of age) since 2002; I started to get and make close by other people’s together with my friends in school but it seem, I always chattix some chat room although I’m not monits _seldom; I continuing to get more friends; using thru cell phone and just asking for (GEB)-Grand Eye Ball not alone; all chatters also. My TV had a cable meaning having a chat room’ this is the reason why I have a lot of friends and even though Laguna Area all teen 15 up are welcome to this chat room; and this is the reason why I using SMILEYGIRL and CHIQUELA as a chat name…..because I always smile and smile to other people so I use smileygirl as my code…I smile to you and you can smile too…. when I met some of my friends they talk to each other, they bonding get together in everywhere want to go out mall and outing; and also in my house; girls and boys, third sex is always be as my friends; I just ask and I say can you be my best friend? Sister? Brother? Tropa? to everyone I met…. It’s ok for others... so you can call me bez, sis and tropa? As well as with me I call bez, sis and bro to you, but if you’re boy you may call me bez or sis? Whatever you want… Because of chat room I have a lot of friends’ reaches 500+ except in my classmate.
I frank, you can trust me; you can say all your problems… I'm cool person once you get to know me. I’m good companion in every one of my friends and since 2003, I received 58 letter and lot more pictures’ I save many of the cards and letters I have received over the years, Each item representing relationships, good and bad but someone I felt was worthwhile in my life and they obviously felt the same. Yes I do have a box full of memories...and it still touches my heart. The bonding is still continue, I went home at 12mn wahh….. Because of my friends! The past years come out I think that everyone has gone…. slowly disappear. The chat room is gone I don’t know why….! When I’m turning in a college life; I stop to chat chat and I’m not always online in the internet. I always busy not just because of chat room, chat chat…. No coz I’m busy to my study and because of my study I have a lot of pimples and some of my friends call me ugly I don’t know if my friends be true….or HE/SHE call me friend in front of me or one of the “Plastic” “Fake” friend…..! 2008 all my friends are erelong_ fade, because he/she told me I had Halitosis. It’s been very depressing and I have had many comments that hurt. I don’t like that! If you have a problem tell me directly and you’re saying anything at my back that you want to tell to others. Wah….excuse me if you are my true friends you can talk to me directly…okay? Because me, I’m not judge you coz I know you’re kind and cool. I call bez, siz, bro, tropa, to all my friends and I’m not Judge to others…. I can do anything to all of you…! All those who know me personally, they know what kind of behavior I have. Sometimes I have mood swings it doesn’t mean that I’m bad “NO”. I'm a very friendly person and I've dreamed about being able to smile but the years past by the lot of friends will lost and this is the reason why I’m alone and no one can talk to me. I want to hear with true friends is (I have friends with Halitosis but I don't let it affect our friendship, I honestly don't care about her breath, I think you should work more being more social because having Halitosis is no excuse for not having friends…) This is one of the True Friends and not other issue that you want to say to me and passes pass to others; that you want to be hurt my feelings and judge me because I’m Ugly and Stink.
Some of my friends hate me because of my look, because I’m ugly and stink. Okay?? You’re such a beautiful and good fragrant. And most of my boy’ friends not like me because I’m ugly and stink. Okay?? You’re such a good-looking and good fragrant? All of them wants; beauty for beauty?! Behold yourself. Are you happy now????? ALL of you are perfect! I was ugly and they would tease me and laugh about it. They would tell me how frizzy my hair was; how much pimples I had, walk like humpback and stomach chine and how bad smells coming from. I too, saw myself as ugly, and still do. I'd feel uncomfortable and over-exposed in certain lighting and sunlight coz I think it makes my ugly face stand out more. And when I'm around people, I keep dreading that they will suddenly comment on a flaw in my face. I am spending an increasing amount of time, I find, thinking about how I look to others. When I'm walking on the streets, I wonder how people think when they see me. I wonder what my friends think when they're talking to me face to face. If I were someone else, I wouldn't want to look at me; and next time when some of my friends tell me that I’m ugly and stink, I will be answering them with a smile and say “You continues for your good behavior for teasing and creating a bad story. Thank you.”
This type of friend is all sweetness and sugar to people's faces but act ugly and spiteful behind their backs. We call people like this " Backstabbers = People slanderous backstabbers." because they sneak around portraying themselves as something they are not, a friend. I do not know why’ why you should envy with me for creating me a non-prescription issued. First please look yourself in the mirror prior before to discredit someone else?
I’m not force myself to someone who doesn’t like me. NOW????
I don’t have any TRUE friends or BEST friends. I don’t have anyone to speak to when I have problem, I have to keep this entire problem in my head. I feel like everybody hates me, I’m not a bad person. When I talk to someone I feel like their telling to get away from them. I feel lonely. I do the same thing everyday. I need some friends to hang out, to talk to, for me to listen to them why is so hard. I’m a simple girl, I’m nice to people, I’m a good listener; I don’t talk behind people backs. I don’t make anybody feel bad. I am very realistic and can not afford any, foolish fellow. This is me. You can not change that! At least, so I call myself, I'm not silly, I can not discredit both, I'm not hostile to my friends, and more as I’m not slander. I was there every time you called my name. I still thought our friendship would last but now everything is in the past.
TO ALL MY FRIENDS (sis, bro, bez, rilbez, tropa)
To all those girls/boys who gossiped about me, to those close minded and misunderstanding, and to those friends who turned out to be backstabbers and fake. You all challenged me to be the person I wanted to be. I am stronger because of all the stupid shit you put me through. No matter how much you put me through, you have unknowingly helped me out. I’ve been walked on, used and forgotten and I don’t regret one moment of it because in those moments, I’m not like them. I don’t stab people in the back. I remember a lot about us. Those memories are faded now but I won’t forget them. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned who I can trust and can’t. I’ve learned the meaning of friendship. I’ve learned how to tell when people are lying and when they’re sincere. I’ve been to hell and back a few times, and I won’t ever take what I have for granted. I lost you as a best friend. I don’t think that things can ever go back to the way they we’re before. If you don’t know me, don’t judge me; you we’re my best friend Even though we we’re little my memories of us will never end. I'll never forget what you did to me, but I'll never let you know I remember.
I am not searching for perfection:
I want a friend who is respecting our likes and dislikes same with us.
I want a friend who is not angry; you should only think what’s right and wrong.
I want a friend who is not backstabbers.
I want a friend who can keep a secret.
I want a friend who will be there for me, even if I have a problem.
I want a friend who understands what I was going through.
I want a friend who listen to my dreams.
I want a friend who listen to how I felt about life and love.
I want a friend who is not expecting a thing in return.
I want a friend who can teach me about most living.
I want a friend who lifted my head when I was losing faith in myself.
I want a friend who carried tears on her shoulders after every fight, every break up, every death.
I want a friend who could turn every frown into a smile in a few simple words.
I want a friend who accepted every decision I made.
I want a friend who support me and care me.
I want a friend who loves to travel.
I want a friend who will not leave me in difficult situation.
I want a friend who well bred and frank.
I want a friend who is not quarrelsome and querulous.
I want a friend who is not stingy.
I want a friend who is faithful & god-fearing!
But most of all; I want a friend who doesn’t looking what looks if ugly or pretty; beauty was on the inside, not on outside.
What I looked for in a friend in high school or college is not the same as what I look for now, sure the basics are the same- common interest, having fun together, and a feeling of kinship. But now I look for deeper things, like shared values and commitments to important issues, but finding friendship is not easy for me.